Surviving University

Saving for education
University Survival

So you got accepted into university, Congratulations!! 🙂
University is going to be an exciting eye-opening experience, Believe me when I say you will become a new person after university. I feel excited for you, from the hot people you will meet to becoming a pro noodle chief to sleep (don’t know what that is). Welcome to a life of stress, depression, sleep deprivation, YouTube addiction and being broke. If you can survive University you can survive anything.

Remember why you at University and nothing will lead you astray.

Have Goals
Write down 10 goals you want to achieve at University, then go and work hard every second of every minute of every day to make your goals a reality. Having goals, concentration and determination will keep you focused.

Make Friends
You will be labeled by who you hang around with so choose those friends wisely or you will end up failing and regretting for the rest of your life. Find friends that you can compete with academically. Friends who can challenge you and create competition that will enable you to achieve top grades. I used to achieve good grades in my first year because I started hanging around the clever people, they challenged me and kept me working hard, but as soon as I got involved with the wrong company my grades fell drastically. Note that by the time you end university you won’t have any friends, life gets too busy.

If you want to pass get that qualification and be successful at a university there is only one real trick and that is to study, Study as much as possible, use your time productively, heck read a book in the taxi, toilet, while you having sex, just never stop studying. Prepare notes for the classes you will attend as this will help you understand the content of the work when the lecturer explains it and if you unsure of something ASK! Rather be a fool for 5min than a fool for the rest of your life. Take notes during class coz trust me you not going to remember everything or anything. When a lecturer says words such as important, please note, understand do take note and pay attention to this, it means to listen and write down what he/she is saying as more often than less it will come out in the tests or exams.

Do After Class Activities
Join a society, attend public lectures, volunteer and try by any and all means to increase your knowledge and remember everything you do can be used on your C.V for future reference. Focus on the bigger picture. You at a university to gain knowledge and skills to help you get employed as you will be attractive to an employer, prove your worth.

Fart In Class
Want to get kicked out of class legally?? well, the trick is simply to start farting, the lecturer will either kick you out or the class will end early so you will win. Note that mastering the art of farting anytime will help you get out of smelly situations. You can thank me later.

Know that you know what to do let me tell you what not to do.

Stay Away From Relationships
This was my downfall don’t make it your too. A GF or BF will just take away precious time and money and cause you to fail. Trust me, stay single you have more to lose than not being in a relationship.

Don’t Waste Money
You a student act like it, So no partying, No gf/bf, No fancy shopping trips nothing. Save your money or you will be eating dry bread and pap. The fewer friends you have the less money you will spend, that’s a tip to remember.

Don’t Trust Anyone
Especially when it comes to Sex, Strap up or best stay away from sex, trust me HIV, and AIDS is something a lot of students have so be careful and if I was you rather say No! use yr hand it’s the best, it knows when to go faster, stop is HIV and STI free and can make you a sandwich when you done.

Don’t Sit On The Toilet
I probably don’t have to tell you this but please for the sake of your bum don’t sit on the toilet as students are half blind and piss everywhere so please unless you want to grow another ass do not Sit!!!!!

Thank you for reading 🙂 Enjoy University and Do Not Stress, Life Is Going To Work Out!!